Perhaps as my honest attempt to know how deeply racism is embedded in our society: ’’Look at me as a white Scottish man”, I said to him. His blue eyes firmly on me, I suspect it was then that he really acknowledged his implicit prejudices. I did not really bother about his, I just wanted him to perhaps see the power of racism, that although he was probably not a racist, he was actively partaking and unleashing the monster’s intention. At the same time I believe that the white Scottish man was only honestly sharing with me, as James Baldwin correctly said, his system or sense of reality.
Was I angry? Not at all, I was not.
Although I must say I was angry when before my very first night in Europe, at the hotel that I would work at, I was explicitly told that I was African. The very welcoming lady, who picked us up in her blue car pointed out that a truck-man had come over to tell them there were 2 African guys on the road claiming to come to the hotel. I am forever grateful to the truck-driver. For coming to our rescue and also warning me of what lies ahead: That I am different, that I am now the other. I was angry when I was told that: “I have not seen any black guy who calls sick than you; I was angry when I was perhaps rhetorically asked: “will you ever go back, especially with the Ebola?’’ I was also angry when I was assured of how my name Bless is beautiful. I was angry when he pointed out that his father pointed out that “its tough in Africa”. I was also angry when I was advised to quit my job because it’s better, owing to the claim that I did not have the required right to work documents. I was also angry when she bought me the Caribbean soft drink (that was very alien to me), because she didn’t know what to get us. Although I must say that the anger was directed at my admirers, accusers, empathisers and the like; I became more interested in their system of reality. How did they come to have that made-up understanding of who I am, although I had not participated in any of that construction? Equally, I started questioning my understanding of these so-called white people. Not only white but Indian, Chinese, and e.tc. Did they participate in that understanding that I had of them? If not where did I get it?
From my experience (2012-2016) serving the mostly white Scottish customers at a Sainsbury’s convenience store, particularly during weeks leading to the Scottish well-talked about 2014 Independence referendum; I was particularly interested on how the ordinary Scottish voted. Because I had the privilege of pretending to have a small talk with then, I decided to talk about the referendum when I was at the till, or checkout. Most of the times, as soon as they handed me the items I would go: ” looking forward to the independence?” Most played along and it was quite refreshing to hear the well-argued points from both For and Against camps. But quite often what I enjoyed was the reaction I got from some customers when I told them if I were Scottish, I would vote for independence (I could vote but I chose not to).
There is in fact one particular gentleman, perhaps about my mother’s age, if not slightly younger, maybe in the late 50s. As soon as I told him how I would have voted, he opined: ’’is it because of your immigration status- you think with an independent Scotland it would be easier to approve your visa?
Although when hearing it I was shocked (but not really), it took me about a second before I hit back:
“Look at me as a white Scottish man”. I sometimes wonder whether he truly had that imagination in himself.
He paused for a second, although he appeared slightly numbed by my response. As we went on to talk about politics he asked me what I study or have studied. Something was telling me he was realising that maybe he has to “step up” his reasoning when engaging me (well I think). I smiled and told him, he asked me what my aspirations were, I told him 1 or two, among them was government advisor, he smiled, and told me his son was one to the Scottish government.
I wish he narrated our encounter to his son.
Thank you Scotland!
Blessing Kgosi e tsile Kgasa 