‘Laiti ya ga DMX’

DMX’s music was the soundtrack to my teenage years growing up in Kanye.I played his album, ‘Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood’, in my brother’s and my room; heard his timeless hits at the house parties I attended as a teenager in my home village; watched his captivating videos on MTV and BET, and I still have fond memories of his Rap City interview with Big Tigger in 2000.

When driving around Kanye with my friend Meki, in his mother’s van, and, unbeknown to our parents, sometimes to as far as Gaborone and Otse for a night out, DMX songs were always in rotation. I was introduced to DMX in 1999 when Meki – our new classmate from Zambia – gave me a green cassette tape with the words: ‘Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood’ on it. The 17-year-old me was mesmerized!

I vividly remember attending a house party in Kanye. When the song ‘Ruff Ryders’ Anthem’ came on, we went berserk! One of the boys started spitting:

‘N*ggas wanna try, n*ggas wanna lie

Then n*ggas wonder why, n*ggas wanna die

All I know is pain, all I feel is rain

How can I maintain, with that sh#t on my brain?’

By then we had encircled him and were shouting ‘what!’ between each line he dropped! One of the best moments in my life! I was 18-years-old. And everyone at the party was between 16-20. I think DMX embodied our hypermasculinity. This was in 2000.

What I loved about DMX was his unique raspy tone, raw energy, aggression and the gritty storytelling and captivating rhymes. His growls and chants: ‘What!’, ‘Uh huh’ and ‘Come on!’ compelled the listener to pay attention. Growing up in a very religious home, his prayers, coming just after haunting lyrics and often with other songs where he have back and forth conversations with God and Satan, always intrigued my young mind. I think I enjoyed his multifacetedness: He could be the bad guy one minute and the next the good guy.

For example, in ‘Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood’ (1998) album, in the song, ‘Heat’, he supervises and commands his four crime partners to take positions because ‘these government police’ had sorrounded the bank – they were inside – and they had ‘snipers on the roof’:

‘You and you go out the front, you take the back

You cover the first two and I’ll take the sack’

This vivid story is immediately followed by the song’ ‘Ready to Meet Him’, where he begins with a powerful prayer:

‘Let us pray:

I thank you Lord for my birth, and everything that’s followed

I thank you Lord for today, and I will pray for tomorrow…’

Immediately, he embarks on a conversation with God, basically declaring that he had sinned and is now ‘ready to meet him..’

With God offering his assurance and guidance:

‘Just because you went away, my doors are not locked

Wanna come back home? All you gotta do is knock…’

It’s important to note that DMX cleverly switches his voice to play both God and himself. A masterpiece.

The first CD I owned was the 1999 album ‘…And Then There Was X’. Bought it in late 2000 as soon as The Ministry of Education, or ‘Bursaries’ as it is affectionately known, gave each student about P3000 for relocating and settling in South Africa. Boy did I settle: in Midrand, I copped Timbs, baggy FUBU jeans, a bandana (Shoutout to Boyce for giving me one also), copies of The Source and XXL magazines, Hi-Fi system and DMX’s ‘It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot’, his 1998 album. You couldn’t tell me nothing!

DMX used his life experiences: a difficult childhood and a harsh inner city environment to channel his pain, anger and struggle into haunting yet entertaining and inspiring music. DMX’s powerful and reflective lyrics, despite elements of homophobia, misogyny, and violence, explores themes of friendship, crime, death, family, pain, hope, inspiration, survival, forgiveness, loyalty, betrayal, lust, temptation, religiosity and mental health (non-exhaustive).

As I got older and began to really pay close attention to DMX’s lyrics, I greatly appreciated that he didn’t suppress his emotions, and try act all tough, hard- which is often, in some quarters, wrongly understood as ‘keeping it real’. While he does have songs where he’s hard and threatening, in most of his songs, he embraced and showed the listener his emotional and spiritual vulnerability.

I also like that he repped his roots. The song, ‘Coming From’, ft. Mary J. Blige, a fellow Yonkers native, comes to mind. Here, the meeting of these great minds produced one of DMX’s best works, and Mary J. Blige sings in the chorus:

‘If I don’t know where I’m coming from, where would I go?’

Clearly his community informed him and he was close to his hometown. He referenced where he grew up, School Street projects, in Yonkers (as well as Yonkers), a lot in his songs. DMX actually has a song aptly named ‘School Street’.

‘…I learned almost everything I knew from Yonkers. And for that, even though I didn’t know everyone in Y-O, I loved everyone in Y-O from the bottom of my heart. They saw me grow. They saw me change, and that was some special sh#t,’ says DMX in his book, E.A.R. L.: The Autobiography of DMX (2003) by Smokey D. Fontaine.

DMX’s lyricism has deeply touched me: gave me so much joy, comfort and often hyped me up. His music gave me inspiration. DMX will always be my favourite rapper, favourite artist, and naturally, my favourite album is by DMX, his first one – ‘It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot’.

In Midrand, where I lived between 2001-2006, some of the guys jokingly called me, ‘DMX’, while others ‘laiti ya ga DMX’.

Kehiloe, one of the guys from Midrand, sent me a WhatsApp message, following X’s death, saying ‘laiti ya gago e vaile’ with a photo with the name ‘DMX’, and the words: ‘REST IN PEACE’. I reminded him that he used to call me ‘laiti ya ga DMX’. ‘O ntse o laiti ya ga DMX,’ he responded.

Mr Earl Simmons, I feel so blessed and I’m proud to have experinced your presence and witnessed you brilliantly narrate your life story, sharing it with the world, whilst keeping us entertained.

Thank you for your authenticity, for sharing your gift. For teaching us, for liberating us.

School Street stand up!

One Love DMX!

One Love Boomer!

Long Live DMX!