In July 2017 in Molepolole, I had to be the first one to mark my cousin’s grave spot (go bala lebitla). I was acting as his uncle, on behalf of my late father and his late brother – his mother’s brothers.
The night before his burial, during the tebelelo, I sat next to the casket until just before dawn. Indeed, the practice has historical roots. A symbolic act alluding to the practice of guarding the corpse to prevent any suspect activities. Historically, I’m told, the deceased’s uncle would sit next to the corpse throughout the night – in guard.
In Setswana tradition (at least in the southern region I come from – Kanye village), the maternal uncle is considered to be central in ceremonies of his sister’s children. For example, in wedding arrangements, it is the maternal uncle who leads a delegation from the groom’s family in asking for a bride’s hand in marriage.
Despite learning a lot during these funeral rituals, which significantly helped me in sense-making and in grieving the loss of Mookamedi, my closest and favourite cousin; I often look back and imagine how he would have laughed naughtily at me!
Blessing Kgosi e tsile Kgasa 